Is that really possible? I don’t know. Being you has to be a pleasant experience, not a stressful one. The sensation of being a person, comfortable in your own skin seems to be very rare. At least for me, the ability to be completely calm and collected, living in the present and simply walking around without being inundated with thought is an ideal that I strive for, but never actually achieve. At least not in a stretch of time that is practical for everyday living.
I sometimes catch myself being stressed about doing well, being successful, achieving something with my day. I think I spend most of my time in this fashion, always looking for ways to be productive, making sure that I am doing good in the world. The issue is that I don’t know how to balance this way of being, with a mode of living that is more wholesome, more about enjoying my time rather than spending it for some greater arbitrary success.
I have a hope that one day, when it’s all said and done, when I have taken care of every perceived problem, when my world is completely perfect, then I will walk around the street, without any thought, any worry. I would be looking at people passing me by, children playing with their pets, birds flying above and clouds moving, without concern or anxiety, a complete sense of calm and joy. Living in the world would be easy, life itself would unfold in its own time, not being rushed or hurried, where every moment is completely appreciated.
That itself is only a thought, something that I imagine for fun, or maybe to keep hope alive. Like I said, I don’t know. What I do understand is that perfection is not possible or necessarily desirable. My world will never be perfect, every problem will never be solved, and hence finding a way to live in the world with ease requires the acceptance of the facts at hand.
Intellectually I know how to get to this mode of being. I know that it’s all in the mind. Whatever issues that I face, whatever the reasons making me uncomfortable in my own skin, they are all created and contained in the mind. I, like many other people, find ourselves in our own way. If I can get out of my own way, then I known I could simply live a life that is more wonderful, one that I spend appreciating more than I do analyzing and cataloging.
Life is presenting itself to us as an experience, not as a task, or a problem to be solved. It is not there to be dissected and served as a list of accomplishments. To experience life fully, one must actually live it, and to live it one needs to stop projecting problems from the past and the future into the present.
Life becomes much ado about nothing if we don’t have the wisdom to appreciate it. That means appreciating all of it. All the bad, all the good and all that is in between. It is no use trying to control it, or being scared of it. Having an appreciation for life means that you have an understanding of its value, that you act in such a way as to allow yourself to enjoy it.
Taking the time to stare out of the window, to see clouds form, move and change will enable you to feel connected again, with life itself, with your own being. This is important, it is about you and how you fit in this world. You’re not simply staring out of the window, you’re not merely looking at people walk by, or the birds flying or the trees moving. What you are doing is appreciating life itself.
After all, it is in the appreciation of everyday moments that allow you to cherish all that is, and all that ever will be.